A Wise Woman Once Said Fuck This Shit Candle

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Crisp apple, juicy fruit, and a spicy little kick—like fall just smacked you with a cinnamon broom. Infused with essential oils like clove, nutmeg, and cedarwood, this scent is sweet, bold, and a little bit badass.

Smells like a deep-sea goddess with secrets. Salty ocean vibes, dark musk, and smooth sandalwood come together in this moody AF scent—like Atlantis, but make it sexy.

Smells like cozy chaos in the best way—spiced orange, pine trees, and fireplace vibes all wrapped in festive AF warmth. Basically, it’s Christmas morning in a candle.

Like cinnamon got cozy with vanilla and said, “Let’s turn up the heat.” This scent’s rich, creamy, and just spicy enough to keep things interesting—with a smooth gurjun balsam finish that whispers luxury.

Like fresh laundry that actually wants to hang out with you. Bright lemon and cotton blossom start the party, while linen, powder, sandalwood, and violet keep it soft, sexy, and totally effortless. Clean never looked this good.

Smells like you own a spice market and a yacht. Exotic curry, lemon zest, and creamy coconut mix with pepper and cardamom for a rich, spicy-sweet scent that says, “I’m complicated, expensive, and worth every damn penny.”

Smells like a tropical vacation with zero drama. Juicy mango, coconut, and pineapple mix with jasmine and passionfruit, all grounded in warm amber and sandalwood. It’s fruity, flirty, and just exotic enough to make your ex wonder if you’ve moved to Bali. (You haven’t. Yet.)

Like a salty breeze crashing into a garden party. Sea salt and ozone hit first, followed by jasmine and green leaves getting all fancy, grounded with cozy tonka bean vibes. Fresh, bold, and totally unbothered.

Lavender’s leading the way with calm vibes, backed by sage, rosemary, and chamomile for that “Zen but don’t mess with me” energy. Sandalwood and cedarwood tie it all together like a cozy, badass hug.

Smells like... absolutely nothing. And that’s the point. Just a clean, calming glow without the drama—because sometimes your space needs light, not a personality.

Good vibes only—this candle’s vegan, natural, and totally free of nasty crap like lead, plastics, parabens, and other fake junk. Light it up guilt-free.

Plus, the sleek glass jar isn’t just pretty—it’s reusable. Burn it down, clean it out, and give it a second life as chic decor. Because saving the planet and looking good? That’s how we do.

Shipping Costs:
Shipping costs are calculated based on the items you select and the distance from our warehouse in sunny Miami, Florida. But here’s the best part—shipping is FREE on all orders over $50!

Shipping Upgrades:
Need your goodies faster? We offer shipping carrier upgrades at checkout, so you can choose the speed that works best for you.

Processing Time:
Our standard processing time is 2-4 business days. We’re always working to get your order out ASAP! Any changes or potential delays will be clearly updated on our homepage, so be sure to check there if you’re in a hurry. During the holiday season, processing may take an additional 1-2 days depending on your order size.

The option for rush processing will be shown in your cart when available.

Processing Time + Shipping Time = Estimated Delivery Date